turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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