Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize