Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize