I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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