i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
