That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
