His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
