it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
