I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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