If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
