dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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