You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
