Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
