Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
