i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize