So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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