i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
There's even glitter on my cock...
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