My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize