I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
