dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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