i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
