just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
