i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
