You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
