woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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