Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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