its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
