Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize