Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
