Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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