I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
