I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
