i don't like sucking hair
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
