There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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