i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
