And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
