He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
