im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
