i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
