We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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