He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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