She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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