His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize