Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
