I'm really into asian looking animals
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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