when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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