does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
