I just cut my nipple shaving
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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