it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
