Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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