ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
