why didn't you poke me back
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Even my vagina gasped.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
