you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
