Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
