STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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