girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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