I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His hands were made for my vagina.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
