we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
