You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
