you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
