I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
