PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
