I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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