I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
