I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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