If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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