youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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