Kiss
Puke
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
