love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
