I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
soo... how was my night?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
