its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
jump out the window naked night went bad
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
